cue this in... once it plays you can read on... (but you shouldn't
Could I shoot words at you?
Is it possible to make you feel wounded, or miserable using only letters of the alphabet?
If this was a gun, would it be pointed at your temple, and make you fuckin bleed rainbows and vile vomit? God in hell I sure hope so! Eat my rainbow vomit you terrible terrible little vertebrate!
You are all miserable dimwitted fucks and I hate you for breathing up all the fun. Although it is absolutely true, that if you think everyone is crazy, then you are probably the insane one, who should be shot on sight, today is not a day for rationalism. Again... I AM SO NOT FREAKIN RATIONAL HERE? SO DON'T TELL ME YOU NEVER SEEN ME LIKE THIS !!!!
Everyone is happy and miserable at the same time, if you don't see that, something is essentially wrong with you, and you should be put to sleep next to Bambi and the omo intelligent detergent.
There is nothing rational about feelings, and mine just went boom bye bye. After having the week spent at work, from 9AM to 7PM Friday was spent in front of the computer, and then off to comfort a very dear person, who I love very much, but not the same way she loves me. That could bring this fuckin ordeal to the next level, where I could bitch about never having anyone love me. This is not going to happen. I stayed overnight, as a guest and nothing more. Yes, I am an eunuch at this point, nothing will save me, and there is no point in telling you any of this other than the fact, I have to write it down, so my demons are exorcised and drowned in the toilet that is the Internet. So you shouldn't even read this shit, if you are a functional half sane person.
Saturday was kinda fun too, we went here and there, and the fact that I want her, and she wants someone else was putting a bigger and bigger dent in my armor, and by the time we parted ways I was curious about my own motives. In the evening I met someone I haven't seen in years, and asked her how come she looks okay, what's her secret. Unfortunately there was no secret, and I am an idiot. Her father has inoperable cancer, her sister is sick, she almost fell into coma herself, and she has anxieties that would fire up signals Mars can see. Everyone is fuckin miserable when they don't concentrate on being happy. I should do that more often. Met with the not existing love of my life today and realized how much she never was the person I saw. It's like a veil lifted and the title says, you are an idiot, but it is okay loser boy she is the mother of insane stupidity. So why the fuck did I ever want anything from her? I'm a much bigger idiot for wanting an idiot, than just a plain idiot, who exists... well.. as an idiot.. I really need to broaden my vocabulary, or die as shit who can't even cuss properly!
And then I got home and thought about the girl who I was barely with, and left me a shambles, never explaining what happened... Broke up after a good day. Dunno if it is a good day now, probably wasn't.
Here is the thing of this not rational day... A geek can be liked, a geek can be used for many purposes, but it stays a frakkin nerd I can't be loved. Other people can be loved, a smart ass overweight fuckfaces can be tolerated or sometimes even liked by many, but never loved by one. I don't care if that is true or not, today I chose to feel shitty about it, and spew venom at whoever is dumb enough to read this lukewarm shit, with typos. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Fuck you and your mother, fuck you and anyone ever thought something positive about you! I hope I can flatten some of you when jumping out a window, or at least get some blood in your eye! I will shoot every bullet in your general direction before blowing up from anger, I will not go easy and silently, I will be the one standing next to your bed making love to the severed horse head motherfucker. And that is me on a good day, you don't want to catch me, when I feel shitty you faggotty little bastard!
Now go home and fuck something that moves, or at least hunt it down, and tell all about it on the Internet, and see if anyone cares!